<LordHydronium> I think Traviss books have given me a case of Stockholm Syndrome.
<LordHydronium> They're holding my canon hostage, so I develop a certain perverse fascination with them.

[13:01:45] Enochf: Hmm. That Havac exchange has got me thinking... will Karen Traviss be the one to make the penis canon? ^_^
[13:02:02] JorrelFraajic: [[Penis]] - :S
[13:02:03] jSarek: Just so long as she doesn't make the penis cannon.
[13:02:16] JorrelFraajic: [[Penis cannon]] - O_o
[13:02:36] Enochf: As in "The penis was a sexual body part common to males of most species. Boba Fett had two of them."
[13:02:41] SinisterSamurai: Would that one be aimed at the penis, or using them as ammunition?
[13:03:20] jSarek: Sin: I choose not to think the concept through too thoroughly.
[13:03:22] LO|Away: Never runs out of ammo
[13:03:32] JorrelFraajic: Just needs time to recharge?
[13:03:38] LO|Away: Exactly.
[13:03:41] Enochf: It may, however, refuse to fire at Kreia :p
[13:03:50] JorrelFraajic: Not Atton's.

<Havac> The main character this time around is the Kal-analogue, right from the start.
<Havac> She's a cop with Traviss's exact personality.
<Havac> Loudmouth, domineering, emotionally-crippled bitch and proud of it.
<Havac> So she goes to this planet with a bunch of scientists, who are all bloody fucking hippie amateurs.
<Havac> And a bunch of Royal Marines, who still exist even though the UK doesn't, and they're SAINTS.
<Havac> And she and the Marine sergeant get sweet on each other.
<Havac> And she and the alien guardian of the planet get sweet on each other.
<Havac> And he's INVINCIBLE.
<Havac> Literally, he has a parasite that makes him INVINCIBLE.
<Havac> It MUTATES HIS GENES. So he INSTANTLY EVOLVES TO SURVIVE ANYTHING.
<Havac> It's the Katarn-armor-equivalent.
<Trip> doesn't she say her series is hard sci-fi-ish?
<Havac> It's hard sci fi. It has genes.
<Havac> It's not magic, see, because they feel kind of bad when it happens.
<Havac> Anyway, she and the alien guy get married.
<Havac> And it turns out he has two dicks.
<Havac> But that's not enough, so she marries the Marine sergeant too.
<Trip> hav - now you're just making shit up
<Havac> I AM SO NOT.
<RF> wtf
<Havac> And she gets the parasite.
<Havac> And becomes invincible.
<Havac> And the Marine sergeant, Ade, gets the parasite.
<Havac> It MAKES THE TATTOO ON HIS DICK GLOW.
<RF> WHAT THE FUCK?
<Trip> no fucken way
<Havac> Bioluminescence.
<becca> ...he has a MAGICAL GLOWING PENIS?
<Havac> And the Traviss-stand-in, when not getting DP, basically dominates the local alien power structure, such as it is.
<Havac> While worshiping their delightful, SUPERIOR CULTURE.
<Havac> And there's another guy, Eddie, a JOURNO.
<Havac> A HARD-MINDED JOURNO.
<Havac> He's basically the other half of Traviss's personality.
<Havac> So they sit around for like eight books talking about the same moral dilemmas over and over.
<Havac> And they spread the parasite to EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING CAST so that when tiny morsels of actual action occur, there is no danger.
...
<Havac> And then they, under Traviss-character's supervision, GO TO EARTH AND KILL BILLIONS OF PEOPLE TO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT.
<Havac> Because they are HEROES.
...
<Havac> See, they can't have kids. Because they would be DOOMED TO CARRY THE PARASITE.
<Havac> So when the woman gets pregnant due to the super-parasite FIXING HER WOMB AND THE DUDE'S TUBES, she ABORTS THE BABY WITH A HEROIC ACT OF OTHER-SACRIFICE.
<Havac> Except, because she has the parasite, she can't kill the baby.
<Havac> She has to cut it out of herself, with no anasthetic, take out the fetus, and BLOW IT UP WITH A GRENADE.
<becca> ....
<Trip> dude
<becca> what
<RF> You're shitting us.
<RF> No fucking way.
<Havac> Because that is the only way you can kill people with the parasite.
<becca> THAT'S BETTER THAN TWILIGHT
<LordHydronium> WAIT, WHAT
<Havac> I AM SO NOT SHITTING YOU.
<sabarte> most hilarious abortion ever
<becca> I'm pretty sure abortions shouldn't be that hilarious
<LordHydronium> "Grenading the fetus" sounds like a euphemism for something. Lord knows what, though.

<becca> football hooligans in pubs are better than you because they're poor and don't lie about their racism.
<becca> taht essentially seems to be the message of revelation

<Trip> "I still think the issue is taking something like [Traviss's] attitude towards canon (which is presumptive at best) personal"
<Trip> well, gee whillikers, roo
<Trip> why d'you think folks take it personal
<RF> lol presumptive
<Trip> maybe because she goes out of her way to antagonize anyone who doesn't have their tongue shoved up her ass?
* RF has kicked Trip from #eu (Trip)
* Trip has joined #eu
<RF> DO NOT WANT
<RF> :p
<RF> ...
<Trip> :P
<RF> WRONG EMOTICON

<+The4dotelipsis> I try to mention only recurring traits.
<+The4dotelipsis> Not always possible, though.
<@LordHydronium> Ironically, something that makes Traviss works handy. :P
<@LordHydronium> She loves telling us characterization.
<@LordHydronium> Boba was sad. Then he was mad. Then he was glad. Then he missed his dad.

<Trip> Traviss made her go back to being a scarred redhead
<Trip> then Denning gaver her back her stupid hat
<Trip> then Allston had to retcon her appearance in /betrayal/ as a one-off disguise
<Trip> and round and round and round we go

<TrakNar> http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:KB:Homosexual_or_Bisexual I was gonna make a joke about Traviss and her "controversial" writing, but it didn't look well in print, so I'll leave it to the comedy stylings of you guys.
<LtNOWIS> Humorless guy I am, I'll answer it straight.
<LtNOWIS> As it were.
<TrakNar> http://www.instantrimshot.com

[01:37] <@LordHydronium> You know, at least things will be happening in Revelation.
[01:38] <@LordHydronium> The worst thing about Sacrifice is how little takes place.
[01:38] <@LordHydronium> Fett goes to Kuat, roughs some people up, finds some Mandalorian iron, and they build a starship.
[01:38] <@LordHydronium> WOO HIGH OCTANE EXCITEMENT THERE
[01:38] <@LordHydronium> Oh, and I think he has dinner with some gay guys once.
[01:39] <+Sinister|LeonTP> Were there any dugs?
[01:39] <@LordHydronium> Dugs or drugs?
[01:39] <+Sinister|LeonTP> Dugs.
[01:39] <@LordHydronium> And the answer to both is "No."
[01:40] <+Sinister|LeonTP> Then yes, I can see how it'd be boring.
[01:40] <@LordHydronium> No Dougs either.
[01:40] <@LordHydronium> Or dogs.
[01:40] <@LordHydronium> There is, however, a dig.
[01:40] <+Sinister|LeonTP> I don't think I've ever actually met a Doug in my life.
[01:41] <@Ozzel> I knew a Doug.
[01:42] <@LordHydronium> Seriously, can you imagine Traviss looking at Star Wars and seeing lasers! Spaceships! Fighting! Action! and deciding, "What my book really needs is Boba Fett in a dinner scene on a farm"?
[01:42] <@Ozzel> Yes.
[01:43] <+DoctorBadWolf> can you imagine Traviss looking at anything and deciding anything that is logical?

[14:00:15] LordHydronium: You know, (reading Bloodlines) Fett really does come to /exactly the same revelation/ at the end of every chapter.
[14:00:27] LordHydronium: "I feel bad about leaving my daughter."
[14:00:45] LordHydronium: I swear this is the tenth time he's thought of it as something new.

[11:41:52] Enochf: Rant, doubtful. Snarky veiled comments dropped in the middle of a sentence, oh yes.
[11:42:06] TrakNar: "Wookieepedia stinks and everyone hates me! D: 'Specially that scruffy-looking Ozzel fellow!"
[11:43:03] * Ozzel can't deny that he is scruffy-looking.
[11:43:05] TrakNar: [/random name grab]
[11:43:48] Enochf: Eh. I'm not sure who she encountered that led to the falling-out. I'm not *neb* naming any *u* names *lax*.

[11:30:33] LordHydronium: Fuck it, I'm gonna write Jusik.
[11:31:17] LordHydronium: This'll be my challenge. My Waru. My Mount Sorrow, if Mount Sorrow were in five books about how awesome mountains are and how much Ewoks suck.

<IFYLOFD> Mando'a gives me a rash.
<LordHydro|TV> Exposure to Sacrifice will result in mild burns. Revelation will cause swelling and minor bleeding.
<LordHydro|TV> Even brief exposure to Odds will cause internal bleeding, leading rapidly to death.

<LtNOWIS> Aw damn: http://www.karentraviss.com/html/gaymandos.htm
<LordHydronium> Good god, she's even insufferably annoying spouting positions that are fundamentally /correct/.
<LordHydronium> Gay men! You're such a shockingly controversial author, Karen Traviss!

[20:16] <IFYLOFD> Goran Beviin could use some Inqing. :P
[20:16] <Ataru> Ugh. Beviin.
[20:17] <Ataru> You want me to read a *Traviss* character?
[20:17] <Ataru> Sadist. :-P
[20:17] <IFYLOFD> Bah.
[20:19] <IFYLOFD> Ataru: C'mon. Coooooooooooooooome oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon. :P
[20:19] <Graestan> A Traviss character? That's so gay. ;)

<Trip> ugh, this interviewer's a dumbass
<Trip> ""I would almost argue that... you talk about the Jedi... I would almost argue that [Lucas] would agree that that take that the Jedi, the take-- and the attitudes of the Jedi-- at the end of /The Revenge of the Sith/ was what lead to their downfall. The fact that... They didn't see that they were actually using living beings as disposable... items in their army, in their efforts, that their...
<Trip> ...deaths were in a sense collatoral damage... and I think that that dogmatic view is what lead to their destruction.""
<Trip> yes, the Jedi got Order 66'd because they were mean to the clones
<LtNOWIS> The phrase "collatoral damage" has been abused too much
<LtNOWIS> Trip: Kenobi and Skywalker were nice, so they survived. It was all justified, you see.
<Trip> hahah
<LtNOWIS> As opposed to the tyrannical Aayla Secura, who they hated.
<Rohniss> lol
<Rohniss> Aayla the tyrant
<Rohniss> sounds like some fanboys BDSM dream to me

<LordHydronium> Anyone read Order 66? As much as it pains me, I need info from it.
<Jaymach> (LordHydronium): my copy of it arrived yesterday but I've yet to read it
<LordHydronium> You /bought/ it?
<Jaymach> I'm me
<Jaymach> I had to
<Darth_Culator> Jaymach buys everything.
<Darth_Culator> If Hitler came back, got a Star Wars contract, and announced that his profits will go directly toward killing kittens and puppies, Jaymach would still buy his books.

[12:24:59] <JorrelFraajic> Wait. (Move log); 12:24 . . StarNeptune (Talk | contribs) (Sucaris moved to Surcaris: name per Order 66 novel) - Does this mean Traviss couldn't even remember her *own* continuity?
[12:25:17] <AdmirableAckbar> heh
[12:29:37] <Enochf> So typical of Traviss to ignore the work of hard-working authors like... Karen Traviss

<TrakNar> http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Reality_bomb Why blow planets to smithereens when you can obliderate the universe in one go?
<TrakNar> Much more efficient.
<The4dotelipsis> I think KT got that memo.

<Dunc> The first rule of Tuckerization club is that you do not beg to be tuckerized: http://boards.theforce.net/literature/b10003/29075122/p1/?0
<Dunc> :P
<Jello> wow
<Dunc> People did that to Traviss, too. I can see why it annoyed the fuck out of her.